Some days it's tough to be a dog owner. Today is one of those examples. Maybe it's because its the first sunny day we've seen in over a week. Maybe it's because the dogs were all behaving like perfect pets yesterday and now I had to pay the price.
Let me start with describing yesterday:
What is Nirvana? The sound of four dogs peeing all at once. We took our morning walk across the street to the park and into the edge of the woods behind our mailbox. This is the perfect spot to take the dogs to go potty because every dog in the neighborhood "goes" there and that bit of competition for space encourages even the most stubborn of animal to potty almost on command. Where there is usually some pleading from me for someone to hurry up and go already, this morning all four felt the urge at the same time and it was by far our fastest potty break ever. I happily escourted Miranda, Spinner and Blayze back inside and Patch pulled me on his leash. He's the only one I have to hold onto, the others are so well behaved that a quick, "C'mere!" is usually all I need to corral them. Everyone ate their breakfasts and then proceeded to lounge around all morning. Michael asked me out to lunch at Chili's so I kenneled everyone up, went for lunch and let them out when I got home. They lounged again until Spinner and Blayze joined me as I got the mail. Michael invited me out for a drink after work and I again kenneled the dogs, went out with Michael and his co-workers and we retired to the living room to watch "Wild Hogs" while the four dogs lounged around at our feet. An almost perfect day despite Miranda's evening bout with flatulence. Whew-ee.
Now, onto this morning. I hooked up Patch and all four of us went out for the morning potty break. Nothing out of the ordinary until I spotted angry-lady jogging with her white lab. (I've had some encounters with angry-lady before. Miranda ran out into the road once to visit her and she started yelling at and threatening Miranda. I feel sorry for her white lab) I quickly grabbed Miranda and Spinner's collars in one hand and Blayze's collar in my hand that held Patch's leash. I was hoping to hold all the dogs until angry-lady passed by. Unfortunately Patch decided to be a monster and reared up barking like a maniac. Poor Blayze was being tugged around by his thrashings and she yelped. I let her go to avoid hurting her and of course, she headed right over to angry-lady. All the while this is going on, I'm desperately trying to calm Patch down as he's lunging with all his 70 pounds of sporting dog might, practically pulling me off my feet. I can no longer hold him and the other 2 dogs so I let them go and of course they also head straight for angry-lady who has already started yelling and me and my dogs. She was accusing me of getting her dog into a dog fight, she was yelling at each dog and swinging at them to get away. I tried dragging Patch back into the house while trying to call the other dogs back but I was being drowned out by Patch's barking. So I grabbed his collar and hoisted him onto his back 2 feet and put him in a headlock. (I'm not being inhumane, this is the only thing that works. He can breathe just fine and he has no problem walking that way) Once I start heading back towards the house the other dogs start running back with me. I get inside and start seriously scolding Patch. I put him in a time-out in the foyer and I head upstairs. I heard a bunch of little kids yelling in the park and I look and see Blayze sniffing around the trees. Krikey, how did she get by me?! I yell for her to get in the house and she starts towards me just as a SUV comes around the corner. I know the driver isn't coming fast enough to meet up with her path but all the little kids start screaming, "Nooooo!" and the SUV driver slows down to a crawl. Oy vey, I look like the worst pet owner on the planet. Blayze gets inside safely and I put Patch in his kennel for the rest of the morning. All dogs accounted for and my last nerve offically shot.